PUZZLING SOCIAL DISEASES
From our Socker Fever Correspondent:
Correctly known as Ball Foot, this condition is arguably benign in the
young, assisting their physical co-ordination and excercise, but becomes
serious when
suffered by grown men, who, apart from experiencing the occasional major
injury or bout of naked exhibitionism have the even more dangerous likelihood
of becoming a victim of excessive adulation and wealth. Symptoms include
lashing out with the foot in the presence of spherical objects plus random
uncontrolled running and waving of the arms when infected persons
assemble in groups - mysteriously usually numbering 11 individuals.
The disease becomes critical when groups of sufferers are surrounded by
large numbers of onlookers, or supporters as they are sometimes called;
a real
misnomer that, as they have the effect of making the condition much worse!
These 'supporters'
become hysterical during so called 'matches', shouting and singing loudly
whilst wildly waving their limbs, often under the influence of a high alcohol
content.
Little research is being conducted into the causes and treatment of Ball
Foot, and it is regrettably possible that the sickness is endemic and
may be incurable! A world pandemic appears to be imminent.
Douglas Cook